 A pretty young blonde visiting her new doctor for the first time found herself alone in a small waiting room. She began undressing nervously, preparing herself for the upcoming examination. Just as she draped the last of her garments over the back of a chair, a light rap sounded on the door and a young doctor strode in. Coming to an abrupt halt, the doctor looked his nude patient up and down carefully and with considerable appreciation. "Miss Smith," he said finally, "it seems quite obvious to me that until today you have never undergone an eye examination."
A blonde and a both jump off a cliff at the same time. Which one will hit the bottom first? The brunette, because the blonde has to ask for directions.
A blonde wanted to sell her car, but couldn't find any buyers. She called her friend for advice, and her friend asked her how many miles she had on her car. "235,000 miles." Her friend told her that was the problem. But the blonde's friend told her that her brother is a mechanic and could put back the miles to whatever she wanted. So the blonde went to the mechanic and told him to put the miles at 40,000. Two days later the blond's friend asked her if she sold the car since her brother dropped the miles. The blonde told her, "Why would I sell the car? There are only 40,000 miles on it!"
An airline captain was helping a new blonde flight attendant prepare for her first overnight trip. Upon their arrival, the captain showed the flight attendant the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop, and stay overnight. The next morning as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day's route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up to ask what happened to her. She answered the phone, crying, and said, "I can't get out of the room!" "You can't get out of your room?"; the captain asked. "Why not?" She replied, "There are only three doors in here," she sobbed, "one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says 'Do Not Disturb'!" A tall blonde walks into the hairdresser with headphones on. She asks the woman working there for a haircut. The blonde sits down in the chair. The woman takes the blonde's headphones off and cuts her hair. At the end, the woman asks how she likes her hair but, to her surprise the blonde is dead! The woman picks up the headphones and listens. She hears: “Breathe in...breathe out...breathe in...breathe out."
A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals. She proudly says, "Go ahead, ask me, I know all of them." A friend says, "O.K., "What's the capital of Wisconsin?" The blonde replies, "Oh, that's easy, W."
Q: Why does it take longer to build a blonde snowman than a regular one? A: You have to hollow out the head. Why did the blonde nurse take a red magic marker to work? A. In case she had to draw some blood Q: How do you give a blonde a brain transplant? A: Blow in her ear!
Q: What do you call an eternity? A: Four Blondes in four cars at a four way stop. Q: How do you make a blonde’s eyes light up? A: Shine a flashlight in their ear.
A blonde rings up an airline. She asks, "How long are your flights from America to England?" The woman on the other end of the phone says, "Just a minute..." The blonde says, "Thanks!" and hangs up the phone.
Q: Why did the blonde resolve to have only three children? A: Because she heard that one child out of every four born was Chinese.
Q: Why did the blonde take a right into the ditch? A: Her blinker was on. Q: Why do blondes put their hair in ponytails? A: To cover up the valve stem.
Q: Why did it take the blonde seven days to drive from St. Louis to Chicago? A: She kept seeing signs that read “stop clean bathroom”.
Two blonde gals rent a boat and go fishing in a lake. They are happy with the number of fish that they catch, so one says to the other, "We'll have to come back here tomorrow!" The other asks, "But how will we remember where this spot is?" The first gal then takes a can of spray paint, paints an X on the bottom of the boat, and says, "We'll just look for this X tomorrow." The other gal says, "You idiot! How do you know we'll get the same boat?"
Q: How can you tell if a blonde's been using the computer? A: There's whiteout on the screen.
Q: How can you tell if another blonde's been using the computer? A: There's writing on the whiteout.
Q: How can you tell when a blonde is wearing pantyhose? A: When she farts, her knees bag.
Q: How did Bob's blonde friend break her leg raking leaves? A: She fell out of the tree.
Q: How did the blonde burn her chin? A: Bobbing for French fries.
Q: How did the blonde die drinking milk? A: The cow fell on her.
Q: How did the blonde die ice-fishing? A: She was run over by the zambonis machine. Q: How did the blonde get ready for Y2K computer problem? A: She changed all her y's to k's.
Q: How did the blonde try to kill the bird? A: She threw it off a cliff.
1079 1080 1083 1084 1088 1089 1093 1094 1095 1096 1101 1103 1105 1107 1108 1109 1117 1120 1124 1127 1128 1130 1131 1132 1133 1134 1135 1136 1138 1139 1140 1142 1143 1144 1145 1146 1148 1149 1150 1152 1153 1154 1155 1156 1157 1159 1160 1161 1217 1219 1220 1222 1223 1225 1226 1227 1228 1229 1230 1231 1232 Q: How do blonde brain cells die? A: Alone. A blond was shopping and came across a shiny silver thermos. She was quite fascinated by it, so she picked it up and took it over to the clerk to ask what it was. The clerk said, "why, that's a thermos.... it keeps hot things hot and cold things cold." "Wow," said the blond, "that's amazing....I'm going to buy it!" So she took the thermos and took it to work the next day. Her boss, who is also blond, saw it on her desk."What's that?" he asked. "Why, that's a thermos... it keeps hot things hot and cold things cold,"she replied. "What do you have in it?"asked the boss, "Two popsicles and some coffee"
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