Blonde Bimbo at the Game

A man wants to bring his new blonde friend to a football game. After the game is over, he asks her if she liked the game.

She replies: "Oh it was great, I loved watching those men in tight clothes, but there is one thing I don't understand."

"What did you not understand ?"

And the blonde says: "Well, at the begginning of the game, both teams flipped a quarter to see who would kick off first. Then the rest of the game everybody was yelling get the quarter back, get the quarter back, get the quarter back. So then my brain was thinking, oh it's just a quarter!"

Q: A hot blond going to Paris on a plane, how can you steal her window seat?

A: Tell her the seats that are going to Paris are all in the middle row.

There was a blonde driving down the road listening to the radio. The announcer was telling blonde joke one after the other until the blonde was so mad that she turned it off. A mile down the road, she saw another blonde out in a corn field in a boat rowing. The blonde stopped her auto jumped out and yelled, "It's blondes like you that give us all a bad name. If I could swim I'd come out there and give you what's coming to you!"

Q. How many blondes does it take drive a car?

A. Two, one to steer and one to push the pedals.

Q. What does a blonde put behind her ears to make her more attractive?

A. Her ankles.

Q. Why are there so many blonde jokes?

A. Because the blondes are out with all the men, the other girls have nothing better to do on weekends.

Q: What do you call a blonde woman in a tree with a brief case?

A: Branch Manager.

There were two blondes, and they had just came home from a store.

The blonde that owned the red mustang had locked her keys in the car. She was trying to pick the lock when she stoped to rest for a second.

When she sat down, her friend said, "Hurry up, it's starting to rain and the top's down!"

Three blonde friends past away together in a car wreck. They found themselves standing in front of the pearly gates with St. Peter. He told them that before they could enter heaven, they had to tell him what Easter was about.

The first blonde said, "Easter is a big holiday where we give thanks, have a big feast and eat turkey."

"Nooooo," said St. Peter. "You don't get in."

The second blonde said, "Easter is the holiday that we celebrate Jesus' being born of the virgin and give gifts to each other."

"Nooooo," said St. Peter. "You don't get in, either."

The third blonde said, "Well, I know what Easter is all about. Easter is a Christian holiday which coincides with the Jewish Passover. After Jesus celebrated Passover with His disciples, He was betrayed by Judas and turned over to the Romans. They crucified Him on a cross. After He died, they buried him in a tomb and put a huge boulder in front of it."

"Very good!" said St. Peter.

The blonde continued. "Now, every year, the Jews roll the stone away and Jesus comes out. If He sees his shadow, we have 6 more weeks of basketball."

St. Peter fainted!

This blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all the blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid, so she decides to show her husband that blondes really are smart.

While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is going to paint a couple of rooms in the house.

The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets down to the task at hand.

Her husband arrives home at 5:30 and detects the distinctive smell of paint. He walks into the living room and finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat.

He notices that she is wearing a ski jacket and a fur coat at the same time. He goes over and asks her if she is OK.

She replies, "Yes."

He asks what she is doing.

She replies that she wanted to prove to him that not all blonde women are dumb and she wanted to do it by painting the house.

He then asks her why she has on a ski jack7et and a fur coat.

She replies that she was reading the directions on the paint can and they said, "For best results, put on two coats."

Q. What is a brunette between two blondes?

A. An interpreter.

Q. What's the difference between a blonde and a brick?

A. The brick doesn't follow you home after you lay it.

Q. Did you hear about the blonde that needed gas money?

A. She sold her car for it...

Q. What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?

A. "Are you sure it's mine?"

What do you call a room full of blondes with PMS and yeast infections?

A wine and cheese party!

Q. What did the blonde say when she saw the banana peel on the floor?

A. Oh no, I'm going to fall again!