A dumb blonde went to her mail box and looked in, closed the door and went back in the house. A few minutes later she went out and looked in the mail box again. She did this several times and her neighbour that was watching her said: "You must be expecting a very important letter today the way you keep looking into your mail box." The blonde answered, "No, I am working on my computer and it keeps telling me that I have mail."
Q: What does a blonde and a beer bottle have in common? A: They are both empty from the neck up.
Q: Why did the dumb blonde climb the glass wall? A: To see what was on the other side.
Q: Why can't dumb blondes take coffee breaks? A: They're too hard to re-train.
A blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all these blond jokes and how all blonde's are perceived as stupid. So, she decides to show her husband that blonde's really are smart. While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is going to paint a couple of rooms in the house. The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets started. Her husband arrives home at 5:30 and smells the distinctive smell of paint. He walks into the living room and finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat. He notices that she is wearing a heavy parka and a leather jacket at the same time. He goes over and asks her if she is OK. She replies, "Yes". He asks what she is doing and she replies that she wanted to prove to him that not all blonde women are dumb, and she wanted to do it by painting the house. He then asks her why she has a parka over her leather jacket. She replies that the directions on the can say: "FOR BEST RESULTS, PUT ON TWO COATS"
A brunette walks into a doctor's office and says, "Every time I touch a part of my body, it hurts!" "Impossible!" replies the doctor. "Show me" The brunette touched her shoulder and yelled in pain. Then she touched her leg and screamed. She touched her forehead and screamed still. When she finished, the doctor asked, "You're a blonde, aren't you?" "Yeah, I just dyed my hair last week. Why?" "I thought so," he replied. "Your finger's broken."
What's worse than a brunette building a fire under water? A blonde trying to put it out.
Q: Why did the blonde put her finger on top of the nail she was hammering? A: Because the noise gave her a headache. :)
Q: What do you call blonde twins doing chewing gum commercials? A: Double-dumb
Q: What is the mating call of the blonde? A: "I'm "so" drunk!"
What is the mating call of the ugly blonde? " I'm drunk!"
Q: What's the difference between a smart blonde and a UFO? A: You know they are out there but people have reported sighting UFO's
Q: What is the difference between Elvis and smart blondes? A: Elvis has been sighted.
Q: Why are the chinese so smart? A: No blondes there.
Q: Why are there so few blonde pharmacists? A: They have a hard time getting the pill bottles into the typewriter!
Why can't Blondes dial 911? They can't find the 11 on the phone!
Q: Why can't blondes make ice cubes? A: They forget the recipe. betaforum-ar.sector15.com www.robotscape.net www.fmaplanet.org www.wellofwealth.com www.dekenaleziekenzorg.nl doctormarin.com www.cm-ktt-party.com progresskolomna.ru clubteamthai.com Back in the old Wild West, there were two blonde cowpokes, Jeff and Dave. One day, the two were enjoying a strong drink in the local saloon, when a man walked into the bar with an Indian's head under his arm. The barman shakes his hand and says, "I hate Indians, last week they burnt my barn to the ground, assaulted my wife and killed my children." He then says, "If any man brings me the head of an Indian, I'll give him one thousand dollars." The two blondes looked at each other and walked out of the bar to go hunting for an Indian. They were walking around for a while when suddenly they saw one; Jeff threw a rock which hit the Indian right on the head. The Indian fell off his horse, but landed seventy feet down a ravine. The two blondes made their way down the ravine where Dave pulled out a knife to claim their trophy. Suddenly, Jeff said, "Dave, take a look at this." Dave replied, "Not now, I'm busy." Jeff tugged him on the shoulder and says, "I really think you should look at this." Dave said, "Look, you can see I'm busy. There's a thousand dollars in my hand." But Jeff was adamant. "Please, Dave, take a look at this." So Dave looked up and saw that standing at the top of the ravine were five thousand red Indians. Dave just shook his head and said, "Oh my God, we're going to be millionaires! www.correctionsnevada.org board.game-ran.com australiasexforum.com acrisis.ru Q: Why do blondes hate M&Ms? A: They're too hard too peel. Q: How do you know when a blonde has been making chocolate chip cookies? A: You find the M&M shells all over the kitchen floor. Q: What job function does a blonde have in an M&M factory? A: Proofreading. racepro.ru chemolims.com www.firsttwelvemile.com ubclan.net runeskilled.ulmb.com www.mublade.net warlogs.es There were three people stranded on an island, a brunette, a redhead, and a blonde. The brunette looked over the water to the mainland and estimated about 20 miles to shore. So she announced, "I'm going to try to swim to shore." So she swam out five miles, and got really tired. She swam out ten miles from the island, and she was too tired to go on, so she drowned. The second one, the redhead, said to herself, "I wonder if she made it." I guess it's better to try to get to the mainland than stay here and starve." So she attempts to swim out. The redhead had a lot more endurance than the brunette, as she swam out 10 miles before she even got tired. After 15 miles, she was too tired to go on, so she drowned. So the blonde thought to herself, "I wonder if they made it! I think I'd better try to make it, too." So she swam out 5 miles, ten miles, 15 miles, NINETEEN miles from the island. The shore was just in sight, but she said, "I'm too tired to go on!" So she swam back. thepms.net mal-uk.com thepaddler.net blab-board.com www.drvar.rs 3candidate.ru cinemastore.hu A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the Loan officer. She says she's going to Europe on business for two weeks andNeeds to borrow $5,000. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to a new Mercedes Benz SL 500. The car is parked on the street in front of the bank, she has the title and everything checks out. The bank agrees to accept the car collateral for the loan. The bank's president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the blond for using a $110,000 Benz as collateral against a $5,000 loan. An employee of the bank then proceeds to drive the Benz into the bank's underground garage and parks it there. Two weeks later, the blonde returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41. The loan officer says, "Miss, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow $5,000?" The blonde replies, "Where else in New York City can I park my Car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return?" Finally... a smart blonde joke. muzzforum.ru pingvin.fazekas.hu www.cleanmind.se thearcheryden.net forum.openoffice.org.tr www.psatservice.com thelhhome.com www.staryeigry.org.ua spcrossbreedclub.com OK, so there's this blonde driving down the road in her brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 Lamborghini. She's cruisin' about 95, radio blaring, having a great time. She comes up on this trucker who is carrying a double-wide home and is taking up both lanes. To her disliking, he is only going about 45. To get the point across that she wants to get past, she decides to tailgate him. So, she gets to within a foot of his rear bumper. The trucker looks back and sees her on his ass, and motions for her to get off of it, but to her it looks like a wave and she waves back. Since her first attempt was futile, she decided to get a little closer and begin flashing her headlights, hopefully making herself more visible in the process. Once again the trucker sees her on his ass, and this time motions for her to pull over to the side of the road. The trucker steps out of his vehicle with a chunk of chalk and draws a circle three feet in diameter in the middle of the road. He instructs her not to move until he tells her to. Naive as she was, she agrees to it and steps inside it. The trucker goes back to his truck and pulls out a 50-ounce Louisville Slugger. He walks over to the Lamborghini and beats it, and beats it, and beats it again. When he is done, all that is left is a brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 pile of metal. Satisfied, he throws the bat in his truck and walks over to the blonde. When he gets there, to his astonishment, she is rolling around on the street laughing hysterically. He asks her, "Why are you laughing? I just beat the crap out of your car!!" She is laughing too hard to respond, but between giggles he can make out, "While you weren't looking I stepped out of the circle!" www.aibar-oibar.org www.xmail.name www.larrysautocharlottesvilles.com www.sellersforum.de boombeach.arredemo.org forums.accidentallycoolgames.com www.oconomy.ru fundacionicse.com www.spacream.ru www.lionsight.nl www.rayofhopeonline.com www.suluca.net wildcatsstats.co.uk racepro.ru ubclan.net runeskilled.ulmb.com www.mublade.net warlogs.es lostcoastsoftware.com forum.agepoker.net nyaano.net A blonde, out of money and down on her luck after buying air at a real bargain, needed money desperately. To raise cash, she decided to kidnap a child and hold him for ransom. She went to the local playground, grabbed a kid randomly, took her behind a building, and told her, "I've kidnapped you." She then wrote a big note saying, "I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and leave it under the apple tree next to the slides on the south side of the playground. Signed, A blonde." The blonde then pinned the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents. The next morning the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the apple tree. The blonde looked in the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, "How could you do this to a fellow blonde?" www.dekenaleziekenzorg.nl doctormarin.com www.cm-ktt-party.com progresskolomna.ru clubteamthai.com mychurch.org.ua forum.moy-bassein.ru A girl was visiting her blond friend who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and the other was named Timex. Her friend said, "Who ever heard of someone naming dogs like that?" HellOOOooo," answered the blonde. "They're watch dogs!" www.memurlaroyun.com www.universidadsm.com forum.businessoz.ru www.onayzah.com creepercraft.gaming.multiplay.co.uk ukrscout.org.ua toposx.com www.vayamozas.com forum.openoffice.org.tr www.psatservice.com thelhhome.com www.staryeigry.org.ua spcrossbreedclub.com insanityx.com g-rs.net forum.openoffice.org.tr dontvisitus.com www.oldforum.slosrv.co.cc?action=profile;u=3063 www.deusxmakina.com www.sbkrider.com carlomitchell.net www.mugona.com www.aibar-oibar.org www.xmail.name www.larrysautocharlottesvilles.com www.sellersforum.de boombeach.arredemo.org forums.accidentallycoolgames.com www.oconomy.ru muzzforum.ru Q. How do you get a blond out of a tree? A. Wave |
